[Susanna help translate]
1. A drunk man tried to force me to dance once, I broke his nose.
2. I never cry from pain.
3. My father hurt me in many ways when I was young. I will NEVER talk to him.
4. In Southeast-Asia I learned how to fire a machine gun, a big one.
5. In the style of karate I learn I am a brown belt.
6. My father broke my arm when I was 6 years old. I did not cry.
7. I did the bungee jump from Macau Tower, 233 metres (760 ft). The tallest bungee jump in the world.
8. I always follow my heart.
9. At school I stood up to seven bullies at the same time.
10. I once swam with sharks.
Sweetie — hello, after way too much time out of communication! I had not seen your list about how “tough” you are. It is interesting — sad, too much, but interesting. I liked knowing “I always follow my heart..” And I’m impressed by your standing up to bullies at school. (I SHOULD HAVE, but never did fight those vicious kids, and I got teased and tormented a lot…) And you swimming with sharks — OH, MY!
How have the past few months been for you? Your friend was in the hospital — is she better now?
I’ve been well, busy, travelling a lot. Just after we last wrote, I went for a month to Turkey and Greece. I love both places — especially the Greek islands (visited Rhodes and Santorini on this trip; I’d been to Crete and some islands near Athens previously). I especially liked Istanbul — truly one of the most beautiful cities in the world! And such delightful girls there! I got to know several pretty well. (BUT not quite taking any to bed…)
Do please write again! I worry about you, whether you’re happy, whether you’re a good girl and take your meds! We victims of depression MUST treat it…not just be passive and have it destroy us! Write me about THAT, okay?
It’s a few days before our Christmas, and there are many parties and such! Do you celebrate these holidays at all — I know it is not your religion, but I wonder if you will go to parties and that sort of thing?
Kisses (and happy holidays — whatever they are!), Justine
ps of course, savoring fondest memories we share of Lisa!
Oh Justine it is many months and maybe more. It is so dear now to hear from you.
Greece must be a dream for you. All the pretty girls about. Maybe in the bed they will be like lion and also help you to roar. Even you did not make love with them you enjoyed the company of these girls. Your heart is patter patter so fast I think. Justine you must travel and travel in those wild places. It is good for your adventure spirit.
Thank you asking of my friend. She is not better now. She did die. Such suffering situation did end for her. Now she is ashes and no more has she suffering.
Leave my country and return to the dear dying friend who died did something also to me. Justine the sadness took up my hand and I followed it into the dark places. Now I can see what it was then. In that time I do not care about anything at all. Australia really I love, Tosh really I love, but in that time after the death there was nothing in my life I could see in the clear way. So I fall down and down into the old ways. Drink, some drugs, lot of soft and little hard ones, girls and girls and girls every day. Justine I was a lost girl. Yumi died with her friend and the new born girl was all the bad side from me. I remember pieces of that time, only pieces. I was high every day and night. Dirty girl in heart and body and habit. Hospital saved me maybe more than five times. The last time I wake from sleep of almost die and with the light returned me. I rebuild myself in maybe three weeks.
Now meds ok, mood ok, return to Tosh in that other land. We talk a long night cry and shout and holding. We now understand each other. I am sometimes selfish bitch. Do not say no. It is true. Why is it? Many reasons for sure but I know it and Tosh knows it. Still we have love. It is ok. The drive for sex in Tosh is not so high. In me it is too high. So. Tosh accept me. She accept I will find sex with others. But. She knows my heart belong to her. She can accept. Now is peace and joy from heart sunshine returns for us.
Tough things about me. Yes. Maybe now I will not have this brave spirit so much. Bullies ok, sharks ok. Sharks I swim really they are pussy sharks. They eat plenty fish so no need for eat me. Bungee and karate and guns now I don’t care. These I leave behind from me. Maybe I grow old or maybe I grow little bit smarter. Maybe I need new lists of ten things for older and smarter. Let me think about this. Follow my heart. Always and forever. This is weakness of me and strong part also. But. It is me.
No. For me Christmas is nothing. It is pretty lights and stores full of angry people and holiday in Australia. I like the lights. Most I like Tosh does not work in the holiday and we take lazy walk by water and talking and hold hand and smile in sunshine. This is holiday. This is beautiful for the heart.
Lisa is in my mind only some times now. When she will appear I think of her face and some sweet time we share. Then. I push her outside my mind. I miss her everything. But. If I think too much I spin around and down down down. This must not. Past is like some old photo. Too many thinking of this or that and you are there in the dead time far away. You are not now anymore. You must be now. Must. Oh dear Justine I fall into the boring Yumi speech and lesson. Please to forgive. But. Justine. You must be now. It is how I may survive and become more strong. I must be now. Just like you. I am inspire by you Justine. Always you are busy and live the now.
So. Justine. Tell me. Tell me what is happened in the life of you in the heart of you. I must know. Bossy Yumi. I smile now. Yes. Sometimes this can happen. Oh. I smile once more. You did see it. I know you did.
Love and love and love and many many kisses,
Yumi